I dread admitting this to myself so bad that I have spent the last 20 minutes contemplating to type it out or not. I figured why not, since only I would be reading this blog anyway; but that's the thing: I will read it. To put it on paper (figuratively speaking) would be to make it real.
It sucked.
So fuck it all it.
* * *
[on Mum]
She said something to me on my birthday. It hurt pretty bad. I was in high-spirits before, but her words just kinda set a low mood from then till now. While not as bad, it's certainly reminiscent of how things felt in 2008, and what drove me to that bottle of pills. I don't know if I'm overreacting, but this has definitely had a long time coming.
Our relationship was so strong and now it's so fucked up. Honestly it's mostly you, mother. Whatever idgaf.
* * *
[on Kim]
When you repeatedly have to forgive the same mistake again and again, you get jaded. I'm done with my exhaustive, extensive emphasis on keeping your damn mouth shut on this matter. It's not that I don't wanna let it slide (again), but what's the point when you keep doing this shit. It's the 4th time now, at least. So fuck you.
Don't use drunk as an excuse. Ripped your note to shreds.
* * *
[on Moon]
Was kinda disappointed I guess. That's something I hate about nice people: you can't tell if they're being nice or if they genuinely see you as a close friend, as someone they like having around. Oh well.
* * *
[on Kwan and Ling]
At least you guys are still cordial on the surface (at last). Still feeling the underlying vides from Kwan though.. but that's not exactly my problem. Please don't put me in between, and please don't ask me. I hate it.
* * *
[on Zhi]
Selectively oblivious or just deaf? Whichever it is thank the heavens for your support.
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